Divorce can be one of the most painful experiences in life. When there are children involved, tensions can be even higher. Traditionally, mothers assumed custody, and the fathers obtained visiting rights. In recent years, there has been a rise of co-parenting, which is a much fairer approach.
Divorce can be a highly traumatic experience for children and cause feelings of confusion, abandonment, and sorrow. Without a co-parenting agreement, children rarely find stability and contentment with the situation. Fortunately, there are effective co-parenting strategies in the best interest of your kids. If you’re a divorced parent, here are some guidelines to successfully co-parent your children.
Since your children will be switching from house to house, consistency is crucial. Kids feel more secure in predictable living conditions, so you should enforce the same rules with chores, routines, and homework assignments. Meals should also take place near the same time each day.
Though you and your ex-partner might disagree on some consistencies, remember that your children’s well-being is on the line. Maintaining parallel schedules with your ex creates a smoother transition that’s much less stressful for your kids.
Even if you feel tempted, never bad-mouth your ex in front of your children. By doing this, you’ll create unnecessary conflict and confusion in your kid’s mind. Speak positively of your ex, and make sure your child does the same.
Have Direct Communication
If you need to send a message to your ex, never use your children. Keeping them out of the drama is extremely important for their mental well-being. Though you and your ex’s lives have split, make sure your children see that you can still communicate civilly.
Create A Parenting Plan
Before permanently breaking the bond, you should sit down together and develop a plan covering schedules and responsibilities. Try to be patient if your ex occasionally takes up some extra time with your kid. Holding onto the petty things will cause unneeded trouble.
Adopting a professional mindset is highly essential. Think of your ex-partner as a colleague. Even without the relationship, you both have a job, which is raising your kids. Success comes with employing a uniform and professional work ethic that covers all the necessary bases.
If tensions are still high with your ex, communication through texting or email may be more manageable. Talking on the phone is personal and can lead to unnecessary problems. Unlike phone conversations, written messages provide a record of conversations, which can mitigate misunderstandings. You should avoid directly ordering your ex to do things, and instead use phrases like, “Perhaps we should/could,” and, “You should/shouldn’t.”
When your ex does something constructive or helpful, show your children that you appreciate what they did. On top of that, personally thank your ex through an email or direct compliment. Genuine compassion and gratitude for your ex-spouse’s action show your children you still have fairness and compassion for others even though the relationship is over.
Find A Mediator or Custody Lawyer
The initial feelings after a divorce can be challenging to handle. In many cases, the tension between two people can be too overwhelming for yielding effective co-parenting strategies. If that’s the case, you may benefit from seeking a parenting specialist or a trained relationship counselor. Sometimes it’s also necessary to seek legal help from a reliable firm like Benouis Law.Co-parenting may be daunting, but with guidance, direction, and putting your children first, you can provide an excellent upbringing for your kids.
Call our Austin child custody lawyer today at 512-764-3932 if you have any questions or concerns about your family law case.