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5 tips for handling a narcissistic spouse during divorce

On Behalf of | Aug 31, 2022 | Divorce |

When you have a narcissistic spouse, there isn’t anything you’re going to do that will make them change who they are. They like to be in control, and they like to be right.

Unfortunately, that kind of attitude can be a huge problem during a divorce. Your spouse may make it very difficult to separate and could take the approach of trying to “win” the divorce as if it’s a war.

Fortunately, you can get the upper hand in these situations if you know how to handle a narcissist from the start. Here are five tips to help.

  1. Get your own house in order

The first thing to do is to get your own documents and information in order. Prepare by making copies of your documents first, so you have them ready for your attorney.

  1. Inform your attorney of your spouse’s behaviors

Having someone on your side is a big boost for you. Let your attorney know about your spouse’s behaviors that make you worry about how they’ll treat you during the divorce. They can help you prepare and, if needed, even get a restraining or protective order.

  1. Don’t talk about your feelings with your spouse

At this point, you need to do what you have to do to get through this divorce. Don’t talk about how you feel with your spouse, because they may try to use your feelings and statements against you later. Keep things professional and connect only in a business-like manner from now on.

  1. Keep records

Next, remember that you need to keep records for your own safety and well-being. Good records will help you be sure you have documentation of your spouse’s behaviors, so you can report them to the court if necessary.

  1. Insist on monitored communication methods

Whether it’s through your divorce attorney or a court-monitored app, you need to be sure someone else is hearing what your spouse is saying. Having a go-between and monitoring can help prevent your spouse from getting ahead in the divorce or finding a way to use aspects of your marriage against you.

These are five tips you can use when divorcing a narcissist. This is a difficult situation, but you can get through it and move on with your life.