People who file for divorce often experience a protracted period of indecision before they make up their minds. It can be difficult, possibly even traumatic, to make the decision to end a relationship that an individual likely hoped could last for the rest of their life.
Even when it is clear that divorce is the best option or perhaps the only option due to substance abuse, infidelity or domestic violence, people can expect divorce to cause an assortment of mental health challenges. People damage their relationships with others, put on weight, lose their jobs or develop substance abuse disorders because of the trauma of divorce.
Proactive self-care can go a long way toward helping people mitigate the emotional fallout of an upcoming divorce. What can people expect regarding their emotions during a divorce?
Grief and even depression
It is quite common for people to experience an intense period of grief immediately after they make the decision to divorce. Some people feel so embarrassed about their divorces that they withdraw from their other social relationships temporarily, which can leave them feeling isolated.
Typically, people preparing for divorce or responding to a divorce petition need to look for support from people they know and possibly also from professionals who can maintain their confidentiality throughout the divorce process. The ability to talk through negative emotions can make a major difference in how they handle their feelings.
Anxiety about the future
Those unsure of what may happen during divorce are often very nervous about what the future may hold. They may worry about their finances and their relationships other than their marriage.
Particularly if they have minor children, they may fear the collateral damage that the divorce might cause. There is no way to predict exactly what may occur during a divorce or after one, but those who educate themselves about the process can let go of their biggest fears.
It is unusual for judges to cut one parent off from the children or enter incredibly imbalanced property division decrees. People who understand what to expect can feel less frightened about the future. They can also then help reassure their children that although life may change, they still have two parents who love them and the support they need to grow into healthy adults.
Many people need a healthy outlet for their intense feelings during divorce. Journaling, regular athletic activity and artistic endeavors are all ways to channel and process intense emotions during divorce. Support groups and counseling can also be beneficial. Focusing on short-term personal goals and overall health can be useful as well.
People who prioritize meeting their regular physical needs and who also have plans in place for addressing their emotional reactions can help themselves heal as fully and quickly as possible after a divorce. Recognizing that intense negative emotions are natural during divorce could help people overcome their initial impulse to withdraw or go inward and instead seek out the support they need to truly heal.